Eric Mills

There’s a guy in NY who will eat nothing but chicken wings for 2 weeks. Really. Sounds like Buffalo’s version of the “Supersize Me” guy.

When I first moved into my Buffalo apartment along the so-called Elmwood Strip, a mile or so north of the historic area, Allentown, the phone company reported upon connecting my service that my phone number was 882-5036. Being the good son I am, I called home and gave everyone my new number: parents, little brother, Aunts and Uncles; many of whom I haven’t been in touch with in quite some time, some with whom communication only occurs following a move. A few days went by, and I hadn’t heard from anyone. No calls from Mom or Dad, no friends calling to say hello, no tele-solicitors either. I began to wonder about my phone, so I called my own number and, to my surprise, a woman answered. “Hello?” She intoned. “Is this 882-5036?” I inquired. She replied,”yes, who is this?” We had a little conversation about the mix-up, and she admitted that she had been getting quite a few calls for “Eric,” and wondering why. The next morning I called the phone company and received my real phone number. I was going to call everyone and tell them the story, but then I began to think, everyone knows the other number already, most people who need it for “statistical purposes only” already have a copy of the wrong number: work, the university, and the distant relatives. Why bother? I don’t want to fill in for anyone, I don’t want to know I owe bills, and I don’t want anyone to call me. So, except for my parents, I didn’t tell anyone my new number.

Ever since I moved in, I have been getting phone calls for a girl named Evelyn. They are usually from really sweet sounding old men, and I feel bad explaining that she doesn’t live here, no, I don’t know her, nor to where she moved. I think about Evelyn sometimes, how she probably had a bad break-up, just like me, and moved to a far off place. I think of her strength, leaving and not telling anyone her new number. I think of the lady who answers all the phone calls for “Eric,” and how she might be wondering, “who is Eric?” the way I wonder about Evelyn. I wonder, how many other people are there answering calls for someone else, perhaps they’ll never get through to the person they are intending to call. Perhaps. But for the meantime, thanks for answering my calls, unnamed woman at 882-5036, and Evelyn, if you are out there, there are some nice people trying to get in touch with you.